The Scapegoat Wife

Any mistakes
Shirk responsibilities
Blame the wife
Playing the words

Wife becomes the scapegoat
Wife admits own mistakes
Only to be pushed to the brink
Living in hell

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Inspiration On: Wednesday, 17 November 2015

Since I didn’t sleep for one night, I feel so relieved and sleepy for the script and children’s book reach the end. When I am tired, my husband asks about the prudential and need immediate reply. He tell me to cut the kindergarten earlier so can get refund. Then he mentions to me for my mum not to show dark face to the maid. His presumption is getting stronger. So I rebuke him. He emphasizes that putting our son into The nearby kindergarten is my idea and responsibility. That shows he is finding fault. When I ask him whether I am his wife, he plays with his words meaning whether I want to be his wife. Can see he is scheming. I need to stand up for myself.

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Wish you all have good days and thank you.

What Am I?

What am I?
What am I?
Am I a ball to be tossed around?

What am I?
What am I?
Am I a child who is tossed around?

What am I?
What am I?
Am I a wife who is tossed away after giving birth?

What am I?
What am I?
Am I mentee to be tossed around?

What am I?
What am I?
Am I to be hurt and keep quiet?

What am I?
What am I?
Am I to be bullied and made fun of?

I care about others’ feelings
I love to make things easy for others
I know how it feels to be hurt
I give and give
Until
I drained

What am I?
What am I?
Yes, I’m a child of God
In Jesus I find solace

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Inspiration On: Sunday, 23 August 2015 at 11:59pm

What am I? Am I supposed to be tossed around, Lord? All my parents care is for me to get married instead of letting me gain financial independence first. I thought my husband can understand me but believes his mother’s false accusations. I’m utterly disappointed when I heard my dad to mention a fact. It is a fact that my son is a child who is used to checkmate two sides. Deep down, I am so hurt. Deep down, I wish my friend’s business plan to work out so that i can bring my child to work. It is to produce media and books for children. Her long term goal is to employ senior citizens and mothers (housewives, widows and the single mothers). Though a man gives out his own perspectives of marriage breakdown, he only cares about men’s opinion.

On the day I withdraw myself from my husband, he mentioned that he wanted to glue the broken vase to save the marriage. What does he means? I thought he often loved to threaten divorce to get his way. What do you think?

Everyday, he loves to find fault when things are done correctly. Recently, he was furious when I wanted to buy a soya sauce. The reason I want to buy soya sauce was to make a red chilli sauce. Instead of believing me, he insisted on his own presumptions. Then I don’t bother him at all.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Taffany

Life has not been easy for Taffany. Her “yes” has landed her into a lowly state she hates. Saying yes to her parents to encourage her to marry first when she wishes to find a job. Saying yes to her boyfriend’s marriage proposal. Wedding banquet reveals the array of her beauty to her family, friends and relatives. A year later, her baby is born into this world. Both couples are filled with joy upon seeing the newborn on Tiffany’s hugs.

Grinning with joy, Mill promises to her to enjoy her life with her baby. Her husband promises to be her fertilizer. Those promises seem too good to be true, but she believes it. Instead of helping her to reach to her potential, Mill and her husband desire to control her through abusive words, cutting her low financial allowance and even gang up with his siblings to abuse her. Using their loved toddler as an excuse to divorce her for their own agenda. Mill’s unscrupulous possessiveness led her son’s blindness and downfall. But The ord is not blind. Their secret agenda is exposed to the light. And to their disappointment, Taffany’s parents protect her without her realizing it when she runs away from home. When the gregarious situation is solved, Taffany’s parents rebuke her for pitying Mill and not listening to their warnings to avoid Mill’s evil schemes. Taffany feels stupid.

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Written On: 14 November 2014 at 10am

Proofread On: 21 December 2014 at 3:20am

This fiction is written based on a true story of a friend with names are changed to protect their identities. Therefore, I use present tense to depict the reality of life and the pain many women go through. Enjoy!

Toxic of Jealousy

Unsightly family harmony
Pick a quarrel
Enjoy fighting
With words
Lashing painful words
Seeking to control
Seeking to destroy
The new family

Jealousy control
Giving evil reign
Upon self
Seeking others’ fault
Blind to own’s fault
No wonder people
Stand afar from
An unrepentant heart
A blind mind
A deaf ear
Assuming others like
The unrepentant heart’s
Hypocritical mindset
Misunderstand others’
Kindness and goodwill

Influence her own good friend
To believe her speech
To believe she is victim
Misunderstand others’
Messages
Wrong perception of others
Kindness and goodwill
Confronting me for shouting
At his good friend
Without searching the truth
Without asking my reason

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Inspiration On: Wednesday, 17 July 2013 at 12:34am
Inspiration Ends On: Friday, 19 July 2013 at 6:52pm
Compiled On: Friday, 19 July 2013 at 7:44pm

Reading Darky Blue’s poetry at http://darkyblue.wordpress.com/2013/07/15/how-many-is-too-many/ reminded me of my friend’s case whom i just shared her experience.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Her nurse friend whom she confided to diagnose her with depression for the situation I have shared through my previous poetry for her. Her dad who recently told her that if she didn’t explain the truth she will be miserable and people will continually bully her. Because she felt that it was useless for her to say so since her husband won’t believe her words and he believed his mother’s words more than her. What’s the point for her to say more? Wasting her time. She didn’t want her marriage to be broken. Her nurse friend helped her to pray and queried whether she ever eat a medicine from a doctor. Yes was her reply, but it had stopped. So her friend suggested to her to see again to let the medicine help her to relax. Her friend and I also don’t want to see her to be taken away to the mental hospital.

After many requests for her husband’s contact, she hesitantly wrote down her husband’s number with trembling hands. Her nurse friend who called her husband that she was with his wife, he was happy. Unexpectedly, her husband was shocked with her nurse friend who divulged she had suicidal attempts. Alarmed not to worry her husband, she tried to stop her nurse friend for saying so. But it was too late. He immediately rushed to fetch her. Her nurse friend comforted her that her husband still care for her.

Sending her to the mrt station to meet her husband, she seemed reluctant to follow her husband. But her nurse friend introduced herself and asked him to love her and protect her. He willingly agreed. Holding hands, he gently explains the reason he scolded her for giving the feeling his mother was unwelcomed. All she thinks are to move her brother’s things out of the room, but expressed it wrongly due to thinking visually with wrong words. Her father had discussed the problem with him amicably and resolved to let him be the middle person. If there is unhappiness, his mother and her dad will go to him. This is due to her dad is worried for her not being able to convey the message correctly. Peace is restored. Since he had apologized to mother and dad, he hoped her to apologize to his mother. When she was going to apologize, the phone rang. It was her sister in law confronting her for shouting. Angered by those words and realizing her mother in law’s dishonesty, she went to bathroom to pray for God’s help to forgive her mother in law just as He had forgiven her. Having showered helped to cool down and apologize to her mother in law. Shocked with her reactions to immediately hug her and also apologize for her own fault.

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Being alone in her house, she felt peaceful and can concentrate on her freelance work. Her parents went out. Her mother in law schedules her son’s playground at her brother in law’s house. While her husband and her holding hands together guiding the way, the helper observed her mother in law looked very angry, instead of being happy for her son. Her helper told her in the middle of the night before sleep. She had been wondering why her mother in law was so jealous of her.

Friday, 19 July 2013

Yesterday, she had fixed an appointment with her previous neurology. Today, her neurology told the same thing to her to tell her husband the truth what she had been through with her mother in law. The truth will let her husband to think. Not her to do so all the time. If she continues to keep quiet, she will be miserable. He also reminded her of the wedding woes to share to her husband her troubles. Unhappy with this, she had been wondering and didn’t wish to hurt her mother in law.

Everyone’s Basis of Statement through Analysis from her previous talk. Her mother in law went through divorce at the age of 30 for her husband left her for another woman. Her husband’s siblings rebuked and blamed her for being too brawling. So he couldn’t stand her.

But my friend feels what that has got to do with her. What does she has to make her mother in law jealous?

Pyramid Eater

Refusing vegetables, mushroom

Refusing fish and frogs

Refusing! Refusing!

Will produce a

Fussy Tongue

Grown Up

Refusing

Vegetables

Mushrooms

Fish and frogs

These are temporary

Once one is a Grown Up

Will consume more food range

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Inspiration On: Saturday, 25 May 2013 at 1:57pm to 3:03pm

Two weeks ago, my husband and I were discussing about our son’s feeding. Our son disliked certain food such as egg, vegetables and seafood. His idea of food consumption is like a pyramid triangle. Lesser food range choice as he grows older. But I disagreed where the pyramid triangle is the opposite. More food range will be consumed as he grows older. My siblings and I are a good example. Vegetables are disliked during our young times, but now we like to eat it.

Roll Roll

Oh
Rolling to me
Grabbing the whole blanket
Roll back to his position
Rolling to the other side

Next day
Rolling to me
Grabbing my bolster
Roll back to his position
Rolling to the other side

Several days later
Rolling to me
Breathing snore
Roll back to his position
Rolling to the other side
Gritting his teeth

Days pass by
Rolling to me again
Grabbing air
Roll back to his position
Rolling to the other side
Roll and roll
Wakes up on the floor.

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 21 May 2013 from 1:25am to 1:31am

This is my every night experience sleeping with my husband. So I choose to have a separate blanket. Thank God he didn’t squash me with his large and tall body. Maybe I’m too sensitive. I do wonder how I sleep. He told me that he ever fell from his bed. Only realizing it after he woke up.

Attempting Mouth Kissing

Two hands
Fingers of both hands
Are
Clasping
Holding tightly
Wringing
Around her neck
With his legs clasp her waist.

Attempting to
Go near her face.
Attempting to
Kiss her mouth.
Where she holds him further
Attempting to
To prevent him
To prevent his rounded lips
From kissing her mouth.

Door creaks
Door opens
Fingers loosens grip
With failed attempt
Mission fails!
Quietly learn from rebuke.
While she gasps for breathe
Speaks such a strong grasp.

Days pass,
He resolves
He answers
He wants
To have a wife.
Laughter burst out
Amused of speech.
He laughs ear to ear.

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Inspiration On: Friday, 15 February 2013

A few days ago, my son was trying to kiss the helper’s mouth by holding her neck. She told me what happened when I was in the room for a while. I understand that he was curious about kissing though normally he kisses his soft toys. But I guided him not to do mouth kissing towards anyone and even his helper.