Slogging through the Midnight

Slogging through the midnight
Wishing to alter my sleeping habit
Only to realize
Determination alone isn’t enough
Strong will alone isn’t enough
Mind alone isn’t enough
Own plan will not prevail
Fatigue body in control
Render myself helpless
Entering the dream entrance
Exiting the dream world late morning
Changing sleeping habit fails

Slogging through the midnight
Wishing to alter my sleeping habit
Awaiting dawn
Leave my sleeping bed
Entering into an empty room
Switching on the light
Thinking poetry
Processing my thoughts
Writing poetry
Awaiting dawn
To pass the day sleepily
Possibly to sleep at 9 o’clock night


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 7 January 2014 from 12am to 3:41am

Hoping to change my unhealthy sleeping habit, I resolved to have a sleepless night in order to wake up early at 5am in the morning. Looking through the incomplete poetry to pass the midnight. Most attempts were failed due I fell asleep. This time I try again and see the result. The keyword “slogging through the night” helped me to begin this poetry.

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Artists in Zoo

Arts exhibition to spread message via form showcase
Content injected into artistic form
An array of visual media messages inhibited a spacious room
Display and speaks the
Past, present, and prophesied future
Own fantasy
Own imagination
Own needs
Own wish
Of tomorrow

All these put the artist in a spotlight
Beasts reluctantly lose their freedom
To spotlight in the cages of zoo
To spotlight in the circus performance
Stage and props are a cage of zoo
Artists willingly stand on the stage
To gain famous
To earn livelihood
Living another character in them

Arts gallery
Cinema
Theatre
Exhibition gallery
Television
Is where the artists are
Artists in zoo
Exhibited zoo
To entertain spectators and audience


Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 November 2013 from 1:17am to 4:24pm

Pat’s poetry sparked the birth of this visual poetry existence in my mind. Her poetry can be found at http://patcegan.wordpress.com/2013/11/20/the-zoo/ . Hope you enjoy and get my message.

Wish to Fly

Deep within me
Wish to be free
Free to fly
Fly like a bird

Like the birds flying
Flying to the sky
Flying in the sky
Sipping in fresh air
. . .

Fly! Fly! Fly!


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 8 May 2013 from 4:01am to 4:11am

This began in me with the line, “deep inside of me” as the words flowed out describing my feelings of being locked like a caged bird. Freelance work isn’t smooth. Struggling to get project. My parents returned to home country then back here. To and fro many times limiting me to go out.

Buried Longing

Nothing
Nothing
Nothing can replace her
Someone…
Someone
Whom I long to see
Whom I long to meet
But never have the chance.

Papers of memory are
All I have.
Memories of her
Captured in photo.
She is my sister
My eldest sister
Whom I long to see
Whom I long to meet
Whom I long
Deep within my heart.

Living with such memory
Living with such longing
Hoping that the Lord
Will let me see her
One day.

People and relatives
Label me
Identify me
As the sister
Of the three years-old girl
Who died in a car accident.
But my sister is irreplaceable.
She is irreplaceable.
Irreplaceable
In my family’s hearts.


Inspiration On: Sunday, 24 February 2013 from 1:17pm to 11:20pm

The movie ‘The Lovely Bones’ triggered my buried longing and moved me to tears. Watching the movie made me think that though my dad didn’t show his grievances, he still thinks of my eldest sister. My dad’s employee bragged that he could drive. So he drove my dad’s car into the house backyard recklessly. My eldest sister was playing at the backyard with my mum. Tragedy occurred as the car crashed onto the cupboard then it pressed hard onto her. Everything happened very fast. My mother was grieved. During her mourning for months then she conceived me and comforted.

No wonder I can’t write eldest sister in my narration during my school days.

Deep Buried Feelings

Deep buried feelings were kept somewhere.
Painful memories were left unidentified for ten years.
Not ten years, more than that.
Unknowingly, it was planted since young.
It was sowed seed by seed.

Motivation of study is from external source.
Motivation of study only comes from mother.
No inner motivation to do so.
No sense of purpose in life.
No compass to guide me.
Only my parents are my compass.

We followed mother to her chosen destination to give us good future.
We lived in an uncle’s house due to lack of finance.
With my own eyes, I saw my mother being bullied.
I wish to stand strong, but I’m weak.
I’m standing at the corner.
I feel lost.
Angry with my self!
Why am I so slow?
Why am I a weakling?
Leave me alone.
I just wish to be quiet.

A slight headache.
Someone came to my rescue.
It is like a Light enters my heart.
There is a sense of purpose.
I need to stand strong.
I can’t!
But in the Light I can.

A door is closed.
But He opens a window.
A window opens my mind to marriage.

With just a few words through written message,
My past deep feelings were dug out.
No, I think I found out now.
Now I found out what it is.
Found out the root cause to fear of marriage.
It is the very seed that takes root in my heart since young.
It shaped my thinking.
It also shaped my heart.


Expressed on: Friday, 07 November 2008.