Help and Work

Seeking my help
Before I begin my job
Explain own experience on older computer
“Doing my best” attitude
Instead of bragging
Refuse to give high hopes
Trusting the Lord to bless the work of my hands

The more my parents probe on the interview
Sudden immediate reminder of
Past accomplishments
Speak out own fear in memorization subjects
Convict mum’s regrets
Dad confirms the course explanation
Skill and knowledge are important combination
The atmosphere turns well

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 17 March 2016

Misa (my cell leader’s freelance hairdresser) begins to ask whether I know how to repair computer. Her computer is Windows 10. I want to help but unsure. So I tell her that I know how to repair Windows 8 and below. She doesn’t mind me to touch her three years Sony vaio laptop. She wants my help before I start my work. My migraine worsens. I need to listen to it to care my body. I want to say no. However, I feel that I need to help her. My heart gets the better of me again. So I choose tomorrow’s timing since she doesn’t see her messages.

During dinner with mum and dad, I begin to share on my doings and said in the interview. CMF lent me her computer repair books. It is acquired during her attending the computer repair course and acquired the certificate. I begin to confess that before I ever repair CMF’s computer. I can repair computer because I try it myself. Then I improve it by reading on those. Another confession is to teach her in programming logic. She said that she had passed it. I feel so happy. Then she confessed that she memorized it and amazingly it came out in her exam. So she wrote exactly on what I have written. I was shocked and glad the question came out. I understand about programming is because Supi and Mr. Tang explained the concept very well. Once I understand it, I choose programming subjects so that I can be exempted from memorization subjects.

Mum speaks out her regret again. If she knows earlier, she will let me stay at my own hometown to work with Supi who trains me. Too bad Supi went to another part of the country. Dad gives positive feedback that skill and knowledge goes hand in hand. They are shocked of CMF’s age same as my sister’s and husband’s age. Then I share what CMF said that she wishes JH and I to join her company. So that she can ask me on the computer skills she is lacking. Dad seems happy for me. It’s good if she and I can work together to complement each other. Then I am reminded of MLST that he points that all 5C combination are needed to reach higher position. I only manage to remember Character and Connection. Because I ask him, “Isn’t character more important than anything else?” He explains that all are needed. He reminds me of the Bible about the body. All the body parts are needed. Then I agree. I’m speechless. He also reminds me of KSA = Knowledge Skill Attitude. However, I remember it as ASK = Attitude Skill Knowledge. Hmm . . . What is God doing?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Muddy Spectacle

Questioning Mister’s childcare visitation
Enquiring the necessary certificates
Share her investigation to me
Who is working

Husband returns home
Visit the childcare again
Ensuring vacancy
Staff points out his wife comes

Once I return home
Husband shares the necessary certificates
Asks my visitation to childcare
Huh is my reaction

Confront own mother
Who feels embarrassed for being too honest
Embarrassed to be misunderstood as my husband’s wife
Metaphorically comment the staff wearing
Muddy and cloudy spectacle

Many questions arise
The mister’s needs of the marriage certificates
What is his motive to say so?
Something smells fishy

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 24 November 2015

In the morning, I’m surprised to hear mother informs me on Huey’s sudden report. Last night, my son told her that his dad’s mother is scared to come here. She is scared that my dad will call the police to catch her. Such a strange remark. Why must she says such things to a kid?!

Though the office is tidy, I don’t find neat enough. Labeling the adapters. Tidying the cables. Neatly I place my added stuffs onto the compartments. It feels so good and able to concentrate in my work.

In the afternoon, mum calls me about the nearby childcare. It is confirmed my husband goes there. She is sure due to asking my husband’s surname. Birth certificate with parents identity cards are needed. The day he attempted to rob the marriage certificate means he is planning something.

In the evening, my husband sends me a text message that Huey’s assessment is on this Saturday 9 o’clock morning. When I return home, he asks me whether I go to the childcare to ask. Because just now the childcare staff informs him that his wife asks about the required documents. I’m astonished. During dinner time, I tell mum about it. She laughs for the staff to mistakes her as my husband’s wife. Why must she makes it so obvious to check on my husband? It’s good for her to investigate. Too bad she makes it so blunt and direct. In fact, she can be a good detective.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Clean and Neat Freak

Clean freak
Neat freak
Tidy freak
Before doing work

Clean and tidy environment
Ease my heart
Feeling good
Thus work engine commence
Able to concentrate in the given task

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Though the office is tidy, I don’t find neat enough. Labeling the adapters. Tidying the
cables. Neatly I place my added stuffs onto the compartments. It feels so good and
able to concentrate in my work.

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Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Loneliness Sets In

The catalyst motivator travels away
Loneliness sets in

Due to years of working alone
Too much at home
Facing against the computer and wall

Loneliness sets in
Missing my business mentor
Meeting to do our work together
Appreciate her kind help

Deep inside my heart
Loneliness sets in
Missing another friend edit my script
Brainstorming and connecting the story together

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 19 November 2015

I feel so lonely. I wish my friend / boss is around. I feel more motivated with her around. During tidying, I realize she uses her L shaped table in an opposite way. She has a neat handwriting. That means she is a clean and neat person. The office is a little messy due to her being busy. My mission is to ease her burden. I also miss my business mentor and the friend who lends her help to edit my script.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Caught with Swelling Eye

Performing my duties at work
Sunglass impair my vision
Take it off

Supervisor suddenly enters
Showing concern
Shock with my eyes

I had a fall in the bathroom
Hoping to dispel misunderstanding
Surprised with her kind concern
Have you seen the doctor?
I have seen the doctor

Sudden news today is the last day
Relieved to hear due to I want to
Fulfill my vow before the Lord

We go through my total hours
I point my mistake to reduce half hour
Due to my mistake for being late a few minutes
Putting myself in the employers’ shoes
God is fair so I need to be fair
She excuses me due to my
Work productivity?

I feel unworthy yet
God is gracious
To receive pay more than allowance from husband
He provides this month
When my husband purposely
Choose not to give
Allowance

We knock off
Surprised of my supervisor
Keep in touch
Comforting to hear that
I like her compassionate personality

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Inspiration On: Wednesday, 4 November 2015 at 11pm

My business mentor cares about my focus by sending slides on focus. I honestly tell her my resolution that I want to concentrate in the concept and character designs. She asks me how to find the volunteers. I am thinking also. Then I muster my courage to tell her I need volunteers to cover my ministry work. I share some part of my tasks. She gets a shock. So that I can concentrate on the business side. I need the one who does the graphic design. She questions me the reason I didn’t say it earlier. I can only answer that I don’t know how to say it. After I read the Meridian Herbal Oil, I share about my interaction with the 50 years old uncle. We speaks through WhatsApp.

I begin, “I’ve read the vital meridian essence ingredients, directions and functions. The word ‘qi’ reminds me of my days at the Comic Association. The 50 years old uncle who talks to me mentioned three things that I’m lack of and scared him.

Can’t sense my qi

Can’t hear my breath

Can’t hear my footsteps

Those traits he often highlighted to me. I just don’t understand him.”

She sounds shocked, “what?”

“Are you shocked to hear this? I was and am speechless.”

“You have a health problem. Avoid drug medication at all cost.”

“Oh no”

“Ensure you use 20 drops of VM and 10 drops of Angelica Ardent on your womb and your kidney areas nightly. Good to strengthen your qi and blood circulation. You need to strengthen your lung and large intestine meridians. But the Magnolia oil is not cheap.”

“Well, how much was your medical bill yesterday?”

“Around $53 plus. My son encouraged me to go and bring his dad along. He only responded if I want to go. So he paid for it without looking at me.”

“Let him be. Fix your eyes on Jesus alone.”

“Thanks.”

When I was working alone in the conference room, I took off my sunglasses. Suddenly, my supervisor enters and is shocked at the swell. She is concerned on my well being. I said that I had a fall in the bathroom. She asks whether I have visited the doctor. Gratefully, I reply that I had visited the doctor yesterday.

I share this to my business mentor of being caught by her friend (my supervisor) on my eye swell. I feel so embarrassed. Her reply astonish me, “Nothing embarrassing. More about empathy. Any one could have met with mishap or accident that cause injury. Thank God that nothing serious.” Then I respond, “Yeah. Thank God I didn’t knock onto my head. But today I knocked onto my head when I was working alone.”

Oh! What happen to me? Why does the Lord humbles me? I want to be strong. Though I tend to pity and care others, I don’t like to be pitied. I believe it is important to have a giving spirit.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Sunglass to Cover Bruise

The bruise under my right eye worsens
Top right eye slightly appear bruise
Wear sunglasses to office
Preventing misunderstanding
Surprise everyone in office
Concerned Supervisor
Asks my well-being
I assure her saying
I feel like wearing sunglasses
Another concerned colleague asks
Then I share
I had a fall
She ever had a fall
Still she appears without sunglasses
Not to worry

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Inspiration On: Monday, 3 November 2015 at 11pm

Oh no! The bruise under my right eye worsens. So I wear sunglasses to the office to cover it. Because I don’t want to be looked at due to my bruise.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Digged Out Memories

Oh no! Today, I am nervous awaiting for the bus. In fact, I should leave house at 7:30am. My migraine is aching a lot. In the end, I reach around 9am instead of 8:30am. YY is so concerned to tell me to leave by 5pm because she doesn’t want me to be locked in the office. Then she gently explain to me to inform her if I have problem reaching office by 8:30am.

JWF to ask me about the photo cleaning editing to erase the mannequin wearing the clothes. She needs help in this area.

While I am doing the part-time admin job, I feel pressured on my deadline to fulfill my vow unto the Lord. What is He doing in my life? BL gives her feedback about my animation script is full of grammar errors and the story is not enough. She introduces ‘The Lorax” and to read other children’s book. The good feedback from my screenwriters are not according to her standard. However, I keep quiet about being scouted by a hollywood screenwriter for my high concept. Then she reveals that she works in an advertising agency and has worked on scriptwriting. That’s amazing. Then she mentions that Vincent and I make her worried. So she wants to help me. I don’t understand which part of my speech sounds defensive to her. However, I appreciate her kind gesture. I see the Lord doesn’t give up on me. Does my business mentor contacts BL about me? I wonder. I feel like saying thank you to her.

The way CW does make me worried. I ask him not to send the logo picture using GJ’s and LS’a names. I appreciate his concern. He is angry due to his dad creates logo competition in Jakarta. Thus I explain to him that’s not the way to do so. Let God does the judging though WA has prejudices towards him. Maybe yes maybe no.

Strangely, I am reminded of my husband besides the coffin dream without much fear anymore. Is God answering my prayer to take my life away after I fulfill my vow instead of my husband? Why would God’s message spoke to me during a friend’s mother’s funeral wake keeps echoing? “Those who wants to die, can’t die. However, those who don’t want to die, will die.”

During dinner, my mum keeps on telling me to listen to her ways to read the Bible at night. She can only say her own opinions. “Why can’t you immediately wake up?” Inside my heart, I just want God’s Words to fill my heart and mind. Then I am surprised with my reply to her. Then you try to walk in my shoes. Before my migraine, I can wake up immediately. Ever since my migraine begins, it’s hard for me to immediately wake up. She keeps on asking whether the chronic migraine began during chiropractic. I can’t remember. All she does is jump to conclusion that it is chiropractic. She concludes not to find chiropractic. Inside my heart, I am filled with many questions of life. Why does she blames the doctor?

A Willing Spy

A good friend can’t stand the sight
Behind an unfair treatment
It betrays his deep conscience
Thus the call from him

The Holy Spirit grants me
Wisdom and a forgiving heart
A new idea to do the re-design
A more polished meaningful design

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Inspiration On: Monday, 26 October 2015

A good ex-colleague suddenly call me that my ex-boss did design competition at his branch office. No wonder there is no reply from him. My ex-colleague feels it is unfair to me because I am assigned to design it and I have done the work. Therefore, he calls me. Though it is unfair, I can understand he is unable to say the design he wants. Yes. It’s hurt and I learn to forgive him and bless him in the name of Jesus. Suddenly, an inspiration comes to re-design logo with the current parts of the design. Then I choose the best version and submit to my ex-boss.

Late to Work

I feel so convicted for being late for twenty minutes for the part-time work. A workplace nearby house can be and a good or bad thing. When I am there to sign in my time sheet, I choose to sign in according to the clock in the office than my own watch. I appreciate for my employer to gently tell me to cover my late time. Inside I feel worst and intend to cover the lost time. During the work, my left wrist is slightly hurt. My ex-client has a good laugh at my sketch for the fierce Wonder Woman. Then he says that the character artist has just replied him. Does it mean I work for free again? This is irritating! I have enough of this. Come to think of my business mentor getting upset to acupoint and qwasha me many times without being paid. Because she thought I pay $500 for the massage package. Actually, my husband is the one who pays for it.

Part-Time Admin

Today is my first day for the part time admin job somewhere nearby my house. It is a job recommended by my business partner in a pharmaceutical company. The employer asks whether I am a graduate. Inside my heart, I am shouting, “Oh no! Do I look like a student?” Gently, I answered that I’m not, a stay at home mum and I am thirty-three years old. My business mentor’s words echo in my mind to be more observant. So I begin to observe the company’s vision, mission, pantry rules, printed motivations and even other certificates. That’s how business presentation are designed beautifully. I understand my purpose is to do work as into the Lord and to relieve the employer’s burden. I feel comfortable to do work when nobody is watching. When there is someone looking at me, I feel anxious and can’t work. Later on, during lunch time, we have a good conversation. I understand from her that my business mentor and her attended the same church. Then she moves to other church. Next, I explain to her about my freelance experiences in arts and programming. Then I confess I am starting own business to do children story with moral values through animation and books. Thank God for the courage. However, when I return home, my parents are curious and intend to tell me not to say it. Too late to say so. I thank the Lord to for the courage to say out. Who knows the Lord is opening a door to me to do media for His glory? Hallelujah. Now I begin to understand the Bible well enough stated in Ephesians 6:4, “fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” It is so obvious that my dad is doing the same thing to his children. It was just the way his mother and elder brother didn’t permit him to further his studies. He listened to them wholeheartedly. Thus impedes the growth of his potential. I have done the same mistake to listen to him wholeheartedly and feel remorseful. I begin to understand the reason Jesus reveals Himself to me. I am the weakest among my siblings. He wants to break the generational curse. I realize my mistake to almost got into trouble in my previous business partnership and failing physical deterioration. That breaks my pride. I thank the Lord and appreciate my business mentor. I can sense His love through her acts of kindness and encouragement during my failing health. Yes! I want to use the media for the Lord. After better concentration and productiveness, I can feel hope and motivation to do the animation for the Lord. At times, I still sense His presence.

Strange that people often ask me to pray for them, the person to go to, confide in me, and even to help in their computers and smart phones. Strangely, yesterday RS sent me a message through Facebook on a track of his audio production and hope to hire me in his production. Life is strange.

When I share to my business mentor on my first day to do part-time admin job, she corrects my mistake of my employer’s name. I feel so embarrassed of my own mistake. I thank the Lord for the good environment and to realize my high productivity level. In fact, I should concentrate to produce own animation. I am thinking of renting a desk with JW due to my financial constrain and can put my stuff there. I feel at ease to do the will to my parents yesterday. I wonder. I still hope in the Lord.

I feel bad to tell my mum to stop spoiling my son when I am trying to instruct my son. I hope the Lord can speak to her to respect my authority as the mother of my son. Dad also explain to her that she is spoiling her grandson.