Crying | Yoshiko

Living in denial
Hating my existence
Unable to accept
The truth and fact
Deep inside me

Autism is the
Label given to me
Coming from my family members
Many time I deny it
Only to surrender and learn to
Embrace autism in my life

Knowing the angst of my pain
But I choose to smile to others
Showing the brighter side of my true self
Wishing to cheers the broken-hearted
Yet others tend to
Break my heart
And
Take advantage
Of my kindness
Only to land myself
Vulnerable
Miserable
Feeling the awful pangs of hurt
From all the
Pre-judgements

When my world is closing
You come into my life with your own agenda
Soothing words to uplift me
Then you hurt me four times
Pushing me forward three step backs
Then pull me backward four step backs
Why are you playing with my innocence?!
Why are you entering into my world?
Giving me FALSE hopes
Only to DASH it!
Enough of your mental game!
Stop!
My Lord sees it and warns me of your cunningness
To PREVENT me from further hurt!
This IS the FENCE of my BOUNDARIES!

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 21 April 2015 at 12am

These are the summary of my experiences birthed in poetry. I thank my Lord and Saviour for the right words to SHOUT it out. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Many tasks are shouting for my attention
Many obligations are demanding for my attention
My toddler is crying for my attention
My husband is wanting for my attention
My parents are asking for my attention
Attention to help them in computer understanding
Broken computer is hurling for my attention
Attention to figure out its parts’ error
Household expenses are intruding into my attention
Pushing me to record it down
Thinking what to cook grabs my attention
My helper calls out for my attention
Whenever my toddler misbehaves, doing dangerous actions
My body-ache is seeking, crying and shouting for my attention

Honing my skills also cries for attention
Even sleep also prods towards my attention
Whenever I hone my skills.

A continuum cycle
Upon immediate ending
Of quiet time.

Inspiration On: Wednesday, 26 September 2012 at 4:33am
Revised At: 5:08pm

Honing my skills time were much lesser now compared when I was single. Since the Lord blesses me with a 27 months toddler, I have much lesser time to look for job except meeting clients, attending workshop to hone my knowledge and skills, and fewer times to meet my friends. The above inspiration was birthed out as I ponder the above tasks in an imaginary way in the middle of the night.