A Child’s Exasperation

Why must I always being pushed to the corner?
Why must I always let others to cross over my boundary?
Why must I let others dictate my life?
I just want to protect those whom I love.
Why do I keep suppressing my own life decision to make them happy?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why do they criticize me when I voice out my opinion?
This miserably brings me to the pit of depression!
I am not a puppet!
I feel tired!
I just want Jesus!

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Inspiration On: Saturday, 6 October 2015

Oh, I can’t stand the way mum criticizes me and touching the things in my bag. Until I blow up and lose my temper. Then she stops. I didn’t want to do that. Forgive me, Lord. I’m willing to forgive her. Why must she always do that? I understand she cares. It doesn’t mean she needs to go overboard. Oftentimes she override my rebuke to my son. It is so frustrating. My commitment to let my parents stay is to take care of them at their old age. It doesn’t mean to let them exasperate and stifle my potential growth. Dad is contradicting himself too. He mentioned that he listened to his mum and brother to stay locally than accepting the job offer in other country. From his tone, I can sense he regrets it. Wish you all have good days and thank you. 

Why? Why?

Why do you have to come to give me hug?
When I was going to close up
Why do you speak so gently to comfort my aching heart?

Now, I am stuttering
Yes, I stumble with my words
Learning to communicate clearly
But

Why are you so hard on me?
When I want to say I need help
I stumble with my words
Your presumptions and misunderstandings
Of me and challenge the Lord
Hurts me so much

Do you speak on His behalf?
Or
Do you speak on your own perceptions?

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 30 July 2015 at 3pm
Inspiration Ends On: Thursday, 13 August 2015 at 10am

During my interactions with a sister in Christ, she seemed pissed off with my delay response and my stuttering. The business idea to give job opportunities to single mothers May this poetry comforts those who are caught in between. May you know that you are not alone. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Why Do You?

Why do you come into my life?
Why do you come to mess my life?

Why are you jealous of me?
Your grades are better then mine.
You have smarter brain than I am.

Why are you so suspicious of me?
Where do I give you misunderstanding?
I just want to bless you surprisingly.

Why do you use my weakness to put me down?
I thought you are my confidant.
There is so much thing I want to share with you.

Now
My lips are tight
I can not trust you

Why I can not trust you?
Because you lie to me!
Because you add wounds to my salt!
Make my life like a hell!

Why do you believe the devil’s lies?
Do you love to misjudge others?
Do you still live in your mother’s cloud of influence and decision?

Why do you take advantage of my naiveness?
Why do you take advantage of my confusion?
Why do you love to put your words into others’ mouth?
I can not believe your words anymore.

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12pm

A lot of strange events occur in my life. When I mean well, my mother in law and husband misunderstood me. When I begin to trust him again and confide in him, he betray my trust. Maybe I look highly of him. Every year, my mother in law gave warnings of divorce threats to me. Then my husband always let me to make the decisions. When the result of my decision turns out well, no appreciation. Yet when the result of my decision is wrong, he always pick on me and put me down. I have felt worse. Yet he makes me feel much worse. Despite my parents warning, I feel foolish to pity my mother in law. But she falsely accused my mother and I out of her jealousy. Recently, my husband loves to start to the quarrel and blame me. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Why? Why? Why?

Why?
Why?
Why?
Full of why?

Why?
Why?
Why?
Why again?

Why
Are you
Always
Full of
Why?

Why?
Why?
Why?
Why again?
Speechless
Oh, my ears.
Scratching my head
Cracking my head
Cracking my brain
Oh, my brain.

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Inspiration On: Saturday, 9 March 2013 at 3pm
Inspiration Ends On: Sunday, 10 March 2013 at 11:58am

My toddler has been asking lots of why since four months ago. Now, his ‘why’ questions are increasing in frequency until I’m rendered speechless and cracking my head. My ears do feel tired, but I try my best to answer it repeatedly.

Is It?

What if . . . ?
What will happen . . . ?
What causes this?
Who causes this?
How this does happens?
Which events trigger such behaviour?
Where to find the solution?
Why?
Why?!
Why?!!
Full of WHYs!

Is it an artist’s questions?
Is it an interrogation?
Is it a toddler’s questions?
Is it a child’s questions?
Is it a teenager’s questions?
Is it an adult’s questions?
Is it an engineer’s questions?
Is it a scientist’s questions?
Is it a life’s questions?

Is life full of questions?
Or
Are we questioning life?

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 17 January 2013 at 5:40pm
Inspiration Ends On: Saturday, 19 January 2013 at 3pm

Oftentimes, the above questions run through my mind. Many a times, I question of the reason of a certain created things such as power generator, cars, auto tap water, etc. My husband tends to laugh at my questions.