Meet similar personality
Curious about other people
Problem in self-acceptance
Yet different
Being rude into learning to be gentle
Me too soft to be more assertive
Can be changed only
By the power of God
In Jesus’ strength
Inspiration On: Monday, 11 January 2016
I inform my business mentor that I’m meeting my ex-mentor and another pre-believer. She replies, “Ok. But I will have to leave the stuff with SS as I have to leave for my appointment at 3.30pm. Have a blessed time with your ex-mentor.”
“Oh no! Can I do bank transfer to you then?”
She answers, “No hurry.”
“Do you mind to cover the book?” I request.
She is baffled, “? It’s in a plastic bag. Cover what?”
“Is the plastic bag transparent?” I wonder.
Her interrogation scares me, “Do you have something to hide?”
“I’m shocked to know about the book. I don’t want to give any misunderstanding.” I clarify.
She instigates further, “You asked to buy the book and yet you are shocked? What are you talking about? Do you know what are you talking about?”
“You ever mentioned about the book, “Because the book is meant for church pastors, church planters and ministry leaders.” So I don’t want to give SS the wrong meaning.” I abruptly reply.
“If I know, I should have gone to the psychologist earlier.” I confide.
She wonders, “Then why still buy the book? What gone to psychologist?”
“My friend and I need to understand how to implement the ministry vision, etc. You ever told me to go for the autism self assessment so that I can better manage myself.” I reply.
She sighs, “I gave up talking to you. So fixed in my mentality.”
“Recently, I have been having a hard time focusing.” I explain my current condition.
Again she assumes, “You are not up to pastor’s level to read that book! Not even me! That’s what I tried advising you.”
“I can’t stand all the noise outside my house. I’m helping in a ministry so the book is meant to improve the vision, mission and values of the ministry.” I clarify myself.
She clears my confusion, “Vision is static and not about improvement!”
I correct my words, “How to write it properly and clearly.”
Suddenly, she responds, “I give up.”
“Why give up?” I wonder.
Her answer is, “Cannot connect. So stubborn.”
“Stubborn about what?” I question.
A sudden call from her wanting me to explain myself about the vision for the ministry. I say I help out a friend and also for serving God. She perspective is to solely serve God. Even my ministry is to serve God. She speaks out that she doesn’t know I am assigned to Pastor Jenny Ong and SS is my cell leader. It is divine arrangement. That reminds me of the dream she is leading the way. My heart is so touched and I cry. She questions the reason I cry because she wants to understand. I answer as it is that I feel touched and end it with thank you. She feels that my understanding level is like a fifteen years old in terms of behavior and thinking. So I can’t reach to the pastoral level yet. That is one of my body language signal and my curiosity. It’s good for me to be curious. But my behavior is likened to a small kid.
Then I rush to raffles place and queue at the destined restaurant. RC almost can’t recognize me due to different hairstyle. She blesses me with an artwork piece with the words, “life is a journey, enjoy the ride”. Finally, we have a table and order our food. RR joins us. She intends to stay at home due to wishing to work from home. I share about JWF’s kindness and my difficult experiences working from home. Rather than getting government subsidy, I still prefer to hold onto the job. I muster courage to share about my business idea where mothers can bring children to work.
Then I rush to SS Seah’s shop. On my way, I speak to God “Not my will, let Your will be done.” Business mentor changes her appointment to 4pm so she is there and I am able to pay her. She does her hair. Misa talks with me. I like her because her curiosity with people. I’m also curious about people. We can connect. She testify herself being rude and how God changes her into a better person. From her, I share about my past seeing things. She asks me to draw it out. My business mentor mentions better not or else I can’t sleep. Then I share more about projects and writing experiences before reaching to the philosophy writing on ‘From assume to presume then misunderstanding’. Until Business mentor sees two different persons in me and my writing. When she confronts me to speak it verbally, I can’t. Misa advises me to read it and feel it in whole body. She even points me for being courageous to put it into the website without worrying what will happen. When people tell her at the ear, she begins to remember. And so do I. We are similar in this. Before we go home, SS prays for me.
Business mentor shares about a man who is a potential husband. A preacher who writes a Christian book. She never expects to marry a pastor. I feel so happy for her because God has hears my prayers for her. Next, I feel like helping her to find out.
Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Yoshiko 