Aimless Walk

Walking aimlessly
Seeking a destination
A solace space
To pour
Every scattered ideas floating in my mind

---

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 10 November 2015 at 4pm

It is great to write and publish own creativities into wordpress. It feels great. However, I feel dampened from inside. I walk into the kitchen to eat fruits. Then I return to the computer. Only to be misunderstood by my mother who nags at me. “Stop looking at the computer for too long!” Of course, I feel so upset to always being misunderstood. When I walk into the kitchen, she doesn’t see it. Why do people tend to judge on what they see instead of finding out the whole matter?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Live In

Live in the past
The past haunts me
Pressing me down

Spurring me to realistic actions
Live in the present
Prevent it from repeating

Live in the future
Hoping to live for God

Dreaming to the
Destination
Awaiting Jesus’ applause

---

Inspiration On: Friday, 20 March 2015 at 4:30pm

My mind has been wondering where do I live. The past haunts me yet I hope for the future hope. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

l

Lonely Life

Loneliness residing inside
Despair in life
Living in this lonely world
Though I seek to understand others

Full of ravaging wolves
Preying on my caring hearts
Wounding it to the core

Lacking understanding hearts
Produce deflectors
Causing

One feet forward yet half feet backward
Towards my destination
Confusions are battling within

Now
Wishing to be invisible
Resting from many labours

---

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 17 March 2015 at 4:45pm

My many mistakes hurt my heart. It is the mistake to care others yet others do not seek to understand me. Though some nice people encourage me to move forward, some even deters me from moving forward. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Ocean of Woe

Drifting aimlessly
On the vast ocean
Ocean of life’s troubles
Ocean of woes
Floating around sorrowfully
Nowhere to go
Wondering
Feeling lonely
Hoping to find
A destination
An island
Island of team-ship rather than competition

Passing by many islands
Many islands reject after squeezing me
Give! Give! Give!
All these drain enthusiasm in me
Wearing me out
Where is the island?
The island of mutual understanding and respect
Not the dead sea island

Where is the island?
The island where I can rest
The island of mutual understanding and respect
The island of truthfulness
The island of complementing mutual needs

---

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 8 October 2013 at 9:51pm
Inspiration On: Thursday, 10 October 2013 at 12:18pm

Whenever failed attempts of finding a full time job after having a child for more than three years, I feel downcast. Am I drifting aimlessly in my job search? I wish to support my parents financially. Whenever there is time, I surf the Internet at home and reply to emails and comments due to financial restriction. Some bosses squeezed me and refused to pay me the little income for the work I have done. Making excuses and even empty promises. Only consider their own interests without considering employees’ needs. These really kill my enthusiasm in my work. Don’t I need to eat? Can’t I earn a living? Their motto is their own benefit. When they want to train me, they say beautiful words.

Fart Pollution

Steel cover humans
Humans cover steel
Daily driving on
The asphalt road
Pass gas out
Fart gas out
Of their butt
Gas of pollution

Destroying the environment
Destroying people’s health
Destroying animals’ habitat
Its final destruction
Is global warming

---

Inspiration On: Sunday, 16 June 2013 at 7:34pm
Inspiration Ends On: Tuesday, 18 June 2013 at 12:08pm

I have been thinking of describing vehicles from its materials.

Deep Buried Feelings

Deep buried feelings were kept somewhere.
Painful memories were left unidentified for ten years.
Not ten years, more than that.
Unknowingly, it was planted since young.
It was sowed seed by seed.

Motivation of study is from external source.
Motivation of study only comes from mother.
No inner motivation to do so.
No sense of purpose in life.
No compass to guide me.
Only my parents are my compass.

We followed mother to her chosen destination to give us good future.
We lived in an uncle’s house due to lack of finance.
With my own eyes, I saw my mother being bullied.
I wish to stand strong, but I’m weak.
I’m standing at the corner.
I feel lost.
Angry with my self!
Why am I so slow?
Why am I a weakling?
Leave me alone.
I just wish to be quiet.

A slight headache.
Someone came to my rescue.
It is like a Light enters my heart.
There is a sense of purpose.
I need to stand strong.
I can’t!
But in the Light I can.

A door is closed.
But He opens a window.
A window opens my mind to marriage.

With just a few words through written message,
My past deep feelings were dug out.
No, I think I found out now.
Now I found out what it is.
Found out the root cause to fear of marriage.
It is the very seed that takes root in my heart since young.
It shaped my thinking.
It also shaped my heart.

---

Expressed on: Friday, 07 November 2008.